Wednesday, 26 February 2014

The last goodbye

In the place I swore I'd never be,
sadness reigns,
and the taste of tears,
steals my appetite.

Time is everything.

Placing the dreams in their grave,
mourning each one as they go;
what shape will new ones take?

It's the hardest thing.

The love doesn't die.
It could be easier if it did.
But, god, it's still there and I would take her back in a second,
if it would be any different.
I know it won't.

Fuck, and I know I wouldn't be any different either.
Too much water under the bridge.

I have one of those memories,
that picks up everything,
and sets it in stone.
Every blessing is a curse.

Time is everything.

It was too, too much.
I couldn't give her the happiness I want for her,
I hope she finds it,
this, more than anything.

Even though I wanted it so bad,
the mountain just grew taller.
Perhaps I am smaller too.
Perhaps I'll grow again.

You're supposed to seek hope,
but I'm not ready for it yet.

Time is everything.

Let me mourn what is lost,
what was,
and what will never be.
I loved it so,
I do.

Now is the time for tears.

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Wrapped in cloud

She is wrapped in cloud.

Her eyes dark,
she cannot see the sun,
can't see her way out of the canyon.

A pebble on the path may as well be a mountain,
she can't find her way round it.

She is wrapped in cloud.

Monday, 10 February 2014

This side of the curtain

The heaviest burden,
it sits on my back,
I wish I could shift it,
but I haven't the knack.

I know the right words
could give me the key,
but I can't seem to find them,
they don't live in me.

For a practical problem,
I always find a solution,
with emotional chaos,
there's no resolution.

The search for an answer
only leads to more trouble,
I escape from the world
in a fantasy bubble.

I know I should resume
my life in the world,
live my life proudly,
my banner unfurled.

But the burden won't shift,
I can't seem to lift it,
and the fantasy world,
oh! How I'd miss it.

What harm can it do?
To escape in a dream,
but I'm kidding myself,
I know what it means.

The burden's still there,
when I wake in the morning,
it's there in the night,
reality's dawning.

I must wake and face up to it,
one way or the other,
but the right words, they aren't mine,
they belong to another.

If only I could read,
the words in her head,
the words could be mine,
the truth would be said.

But I need to rely
on others to do,
the things that are needed,
and hope they are true.

And I need to escape,
the world in my head,
to put out the dream,
live life in its stead.

Still, which life to live?
The burden still there,
and without the right words,
it'll always be here.

I could find a new path,
there is a way out,
but whether to seek it?
I'm riddled with doubt.

The future in question,
and nothing is certain,
here I am paralysed,
this side of the curtain.

I can have faith in the others,
to do the job that they do,
I've had so much hope,
and gratitude too.

Yet, I've given them time,
and, somehow, trust too,
should I cut it and run,
and say that I'm through?

The future, unknown,
for sure nothing is certain,
I'll just dally a minute,
this side of the curtain.

Sunday, 9 February 2014

The lover and the loved

She is loved.

From the curl of her hair,
to the sparkle in her eyes,
to her aching, tired feet,
she is loved.

For the wisdom in her words,
for the kindness in her heart,
for the facets of her soul, which shine like diamonds,
she is loved.

I worship her with words,
I hold her in my heart,
She is the keeper of my soul,
I love.

I love.

Monday, 3 February 2014

Thoughts of the heart

It doesn't always go where it ought to,
the heart.
It's with her too often -
the unknown entity.

The heart calls and
she does not come,
nor should she,
it calls nonetheless.

The thoughts of her
outnumber the moments with her
by a hundred to one,
or is it a thousand now?

More thought than woman,
she occupies the heart
unable to disappoint.

The kindness in her eyes,
was all that was required
and the heart,