Saturday, 4 January 2014

Daggers in the Dark

She is brilliant and complex,
and beautiful, it's true.

Her thoughts dance like rainbows through the light,
like daggers in the dark,
like angels on the ceiling.

The whirlpool swings us around,
the savage current tears the air from our lungs,
squeezes our hearts until they will burst,
and then we swing back again,
to the frothy surface,
light and bubbly,
dripping with laughter and wisdom.

A near miss,
but still in the ocean.

15 comments:

  1. This is a very intriguing portrait, with some strong metaphors. I love the final couplet.

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  2. Oh my, it's breathtaking!

    The whirlpool swings us around,
    the savage current tears the air from our lungs,
    squeezes our hearts until they will burst,

    My favourite part

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  3. Powerful words with clever use of metaphor. I liked it.

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  4. sounds like a crazy ride....i think i would be ready for some calm seas.

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  5. the first part made me smile....the last couple lines really set this on edge for me...the near miss but still the ocean...and perhaps in that opportunity

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  6. A well drawn portrait of a relationship! Love the details you included.

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  7. A very rich description...I really enjoyed this.

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  8. Great imagery in this portrait! I like the idea of thoughts dancing like angels on the ceiling.

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  9. Lovely imagery and metaphors ... I sense hope, surviving troubled waters. Smiles. Really well done :)

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  10. I like the thoughts dancing like rainbows through the night. Great feeling of movement and immersion in this piece, and I love the resurfacing and the closing lines.

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  11. In the vicinity may begood enough when the colors dance in the dark.

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  12. Should worry when one is in a comfortable zone. Worry should be triggered off when one finds nobody around to share the comforts as they have all advanced forward! Nicely aga!

    Hank

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  13. I like how the whirlpool begins like a menace, attacking heart and lungs, but, in the end, all is well.

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