A Collection of Complications

A collection of complications
I'm stacking them up
Faster than I can count
Just waiting for them to tumble
Did I leap to soon?

Caution was always my card
Forever stashed up my sleeve
Ready to be played
But not yet, not yet
Just wait a little longer

A little more time
'til the dust settles
'til I catch my breath
'til my thoughts stop racing
Just a minute more, an hour, a day

A little too much scrutiny
I'm being drawn out of the shadows
Into the centre of attention
Though I duck and dodge the spotlight
It finds me again

Just another week, another month
A moment of peace
That's all I need
Let me collect my thoughts
Breathe again

And just be.

The women I loved

First I was a student
and she taught me not to share my heart
with callous laughter and bitter words.

Then I was a runner
always two steps behind her and chasing at her heels
though she never stopped or turned.

I had my turn as an adversary
it was fun
yet I was glad to lose that fight.

Later I was a friend
and her a refuge from the storm
but always someone else's.

I was a wife
and thought I'd found a place
til it was a swiftly shattered peace.

I found a paragon, a diamond
and she was never, never mine
through her I saw what I missed.

And now?
I start again.